No Sleep for the Weary
I will admit that I am also to blame. I will continue to put Camden in the bed until I fall asleep. But once I am asleep, I tend to draw a blank. I am so out of it that I don’t know what time it is and will allow him to sneak back into my bed. So it is practically my fault. But his fear is real. I was feeding into it at first. Being that soft mom that people tend to refer to us women as. But how could I not be? I mean he is literally terrified. He runs and is crying uncontrollably and shaking with fear.
But then sleep deprivation started to kick in and I gave up on caring if he was scared. I won’t lie, I didn’t care about his fear more than I cared about my sleep. And let’s not mix the lack of sleep with PMS, then mister you have a monster on your hands. Last night was the worst. He ran into my room and I had to pop him constantly to get him to stay in bed. Finally he went to sleep and I thought I was in the clear. I couldn’t even deal with being up, I was mentally and physically tired from having to force him to sleep that I went to sleep myself without getting anything that I needed to get done, done.
Well a little over and hour after he fell asleep, he comes in my room crying with fear. I do not really recall this, but I happen to sleep on facetime now, so when I woke up the entire story was told to me. He came back in my room frantic and I allowed him to get in bed with me and go to sleep. HE HAD WON! And any mother to a child knows the huge difference that sleeping with your child can be. I woke up at 1am knowing that something was off, and to my surprise there was a set of four year old feet kicking me in the back. I wanted to cry. For my entire morning shower all I could think about was how tired I am, and will be. I just hate that I am so torn in the middle. I want to cuddle him and be mushy with him. But I also want my sleep and I want to wake up feeling good about my day.
If you have any advice to offer up please do. Don’t let this be a blog post that goes unnoticed. I have about 600 readers a week and yet no comments. I am always there for my readers. You guys have sent me countless emails and IG messages and I ALWAYS respond. Help me out today. I could sometimes use the encouraging word. And not just me, think about the other moms and dads that are reading wanting to know they are not alone in these same situations. Your comments could just be the thing that gets them through it every day. Thanks All!