Dear Munchkin,
Some people fall in love with their child the moment they see them. And for others it's when they feel that first kick in the womb or when they lay the baby on their bare chest after birth. But for me it was the moment I took that home pregnancy test and saw that you were growing inside of me. I love you more than words can express. I love you more than anybody on this earth. There isn't enough words to describe to you how overwhelmed with joy you make me feel.
But I think my actions speak for themselves. You may not see it now or understand it even, but I try my hardest to put your needs before my own. Sometimes it's hard. A lot of times I don't want to do things that in the long run will benefit you. But then I think of how disappointed in me you will be and I do it anyway. Mommy doesn't always want to buy new sippy cups (that range from $8 to $10 just for one) for you when I want a new pair of shoes. Sometimes mommy does want to wake up at 1 am and change your sheets because you had an accident, or sit in traffic for 30 minutes to pick you up from the best daycare in the world. Sometimes mommy doesn't want to watch Dispicable Me every night before bed. But all those things put a smile on your face. And all I really want at the end of the day is to see your face light up.
Sometimes mommy has to make really hard choices on your behalf. And most of the times I make the wrong ones. But I've decided to pray about some of these choices and give them to God. There are going to be times when mommy has to let you go when I don't want to. There are times when I'm going to have to bend in the way I think things should go because it will be better for you in the long run. I'm hoping that when you grow up you will understand my struggles. You will see that I put you before me. When I wanted to smack people because they hurt you, I didn't because those are people you love. When I had to cut people out of our lives, that you understand I did it to protect you and your growth. But also were I've decided to keep people around even though it hurts mommy but will hurt you even more not to know them.
Sometimes mommy has a hard time coming to these choices and sometimes I've even had to make changes or correct my behavior because of you. Just know that I love you. And everything I do, I do for you to have the best life ever. I'm letting God lead us now. From this moment on it won't only be mommy who is deciding your fate, but God who is leading me on the path that WE should go.
Mommy loves her munchkin man man!