The last 6 months or so I've been praying like a mad woman. Everything that's been put in front of me I believe has been because of my prayers. I pray before every major decision. Everything that I do these days I seek God first.
Today was one of those days that required me to pray. And I've prayed harder today than most days. I just taught my boyfriend how to pray like a week ago. And since then things have just fallen into place for the both of us. But today...I felt like I needed to just pour my heart out to God.
There has been so many times in life where I find myself right in this same situation. And before Id be in tears and can't get it together. But today, I find myself numb to the pain. Have you ever felt numb about a situation that you actually truly care about? It's like your body knows that there is a pain you are pose to be feeling, but you just aren't feeling it. You can't ask me today "how you feel?" Because I honestly have no clue. This is a road I know so well. But yet still manage to travel it.
So I prayed. But when I prayed, it was like all the emotions that were numb, I started to feel. All the things I thought I couldn't feel in my heart anymore, I felt all at once. I'm not sure what that meant. Not sure that I care either. Let go let God, right? Today has been hard and my numbness I believe is wearing off. This may not make a lot of sense because I'm not telling you exactly what's going on. But everything isn't for everybody.
I just know that for the last 6 months I have prayed a lot. And for the last 6 months God has shown up strong. So that's what I'm resting on.
Goodnight!