Ok this is the third time I've tried to write this post... If it fails me again I will throw this iPad and next my phone into the tv in which I can not watch either. Long story, blog for another day. But as I continue to type I think I might have just found some luck in this post and weebly will actually allow me to keep typing without getting booted out, thank you so very kindly 😒
Terrible twos, says who???
I sit back watching Camden with a cup of coffee ((soy milk these days and no whip cream on top please, my stomach and the people around me can't handle it)) waiting for the imaginary flip of the switch. You know the one when they are about to turn three and the terrible is over. Well we are less than two weeks away from three and I'm still sitting here. Why didn't other mothers mention that two isn't the worst of it. Why didn't they say that at three everything will change. Matter fact that at three things really start to hit the fan.
Two is a walk in the park as far as I'm concerned. Two was the cry baby stage. The stage where they are a baby but are learning that they can do something's on their own. Two is the phase where they are just annoying. It's terrible to us parents because we miss the bottles and the less talking and the tears that would stop when we picked you up. Really two is only bad for us. The parents that have to actually do more work. BUT THREE! Oh brace your pretty little selves. Three is when the cookie starts to crumble. I'm seeing it now and we haven't even celebrated yet.
Camden can talk. And by talk I mean talk after thinking first. This is major. Like at two they can talk and say things but it's a whole other ball game when they can actually think of something to say in response. Let me tell you the two new phases Camden has walked into. The first is talking back. This started off cute. And just about a few weeks ago. But cute wares off real fast. Sorta just walks out the door when cute turns into rude and down right rediculous. When the word "because" makes its sneaky way into your child's vocabulary, you will understand exactly what I'm talking about. Camden does this thing where I ask him why he hasn't done something and he responds back with "because". At first it was like "hahahahaha where do you get this stuff from" now it's more like "say because again and I'm gonna knock the because out of you". "Camden why are you not in bed like I asked you to be five minutes ago", "because!"...... We have officially reached the talk back stage. At three!!!!! I thought that came with high school and PMS or something. When did kids start talking back at three?
Then there is the I CAN DO BAD ALL BY MYSELF PHASE. Everything is I can do it by myself. "No mommy let me do it", "I don't want your help", "I'm a big boy let me try". This is a fundamental phase for kids don't get me wrong. Major mile stone. But it's not just the wanting to do it by themselves that's bad...it's the fact that they only want to do the things that they physically can't do by themselves. Like why can't you want to go to the potty by yourself alone but you want to walk in the street by yourself. Why do you feel the need to pour your own milk into your cereal ((Camden likes his cereal dry btw so I don't even know why he wants to add milk when he won't even eat the cereal when it's all said and done)). Why not want to clean your toys all by yourself. But noooo only the crazy things that will either make us late or cause me to add a hundred more things to the list of things we will now need to do, i.e wipe up the milk, mop the floor, and pour you a dry bowl of cereal.
It's at the age of three when you start to fight and argue with your child. This is where you see moms in the store talking to their children but also rolling their eyes. Next time you see that just nod and say "he/she must be three".
Now you guys know I never lie to you... But I lied. There are more than two phases. There are three. Cats out the bag. I just didn't want to upset you with all this as much as I have been the last two weeks. Thought I would ease her on in there. Next phase is the worst one. It's the one that will not only get under your skin but gets under the skin of the people around you. It's the fall out phase😩! Remember that mom in the store rolling her eyes. Well that's he mom that's going along with the talking back just to avoid the falling out. Now in no way am I that mom. I'm the gangsta momma. You won't talk back or fall out on me. I will grab your little arm and haul you off to a bathroom before you can even open your mouth to say "because".
But that doesn't make the phase any less real. The fall out phase is so real. Camden hasn't reached there yet. This phase isn't limited to only falling. It includes the works, screaming, yelling, kicking, biting, hitting, mad face and crossed arms. This phase is where they try to show you who's boss. Try to show you that they run it. It's this phase where you need to look them in the face, on their level and say "look here kid, I allowed you to live to see three, if you want to live to see four you better get it together". If that doesn't work you can do what my mom did to me, leave em. Crying in the store on the ground. Leave them right there. Bet they never do that again, I know I didn't.